tastes like..

sex.

last week a good friend salvaged a shitty week by introducing me to my new mistress, lindt excellence white coconut chocolate. (i'm always craving chocolate and white choc is my fave. my friends know me so well.)

chocolate makes everything better. when it touched my lips i swear i had a mini orgasm. just a little bit. i promise it tastes like... sex... but BETTER. i instantly had a smile on my face and a good rest of the week...

and here, my friends, are my top reasons why chocolate is better than sex.

- you can have as much chocolate as you can handle until you're satisfied. good luck finding a man that can do the same.

- you do not need to pee afterwards. or shower.

- you can have it any time of the day, with anyone, anywhere you please. even in church.

- you can enjoy it as loud as you want to.

- chocolate is always there when you need it and never disappoints. EVER.

- when you're over it, you can stop eating it. you dont have to finish the whole thing, and you can save the rest for later. i guarantee you that no man will allow you to jump off mid-thrust.

- you are allowed to accept chocolate from any man. not just your own.

and finally.... (drumroll please)

- there is good chocolate. there is great chocolate. there is NO SUCH THING as bad chocolate. however, there is such thing as bad sex.

and there you have it. now please give me a moment alone with the last piece of my white coconut. *sigh*

girls, girls, girls, girls, MY GIRLS I DO ADORE

alright. i've said NUMEROUS TIMES that i freakin adore the girls that i roll with. so i'm showin some love for their blogs cuz they are fuckin KICK ASS..

- my hayati, Abi. Girls are the New Boys
- my soulmate, Bern. Life on My Side
- my bully, Jess. Adventures of Yoshi
- my inspiration, Lawn. What The Hellz?!
- my start, Kris. Yee Bay
- my habibTEE, Tina. Back In Action
- my baby mama, Charrie. Be.Bella
- my awesome bitch, Stef. Curvaceous in the City

check em out. they'll rock ur world.

kristina gano you are the truth.

never let anyone tell you that your best wasn't good enough. well, you can't stop them from saying it to you, but never believe them. never let anyone take your peace of mind away. don't give anyone the power nor satisfaction of breaking your heart.

allow your best to come short only to your standards then strive to be better. your peace of mind is yours, it can never be torn down.. don't build walls around your heart, but make sure to condition it to survive solely from the love that you give yourself. rely only on the things you build because that way, you are the only one who can say when its broken. stick to your pace on your own path so you know when you need to slow down, speed the fuck up and when to say "i'm fuckin lost, i need help." but only ask for help, don't switch to shotgun and let someone else drive down the road. because then if you get lost in your life, there's no one to blame but yourself.

someone burn her thesaurus.

i am a blogger. which means, i am also a reader. i read hella blogs about hella shit in hella styles. personally, when i write, i write like i'm talking to my best friend. i know that's not everyone's style and i respect that. writing is an art and well.. "i'm an artist, and i'm sensitive about my shit".

however, once in a while i will come across a blog where the author uses introspective, profound, 10 letter words, and her sentences are three lines long and theres semicolons and shit.. and thats FINE. but sometimes.. just sometimes.. it gets kinda irritating. like i have to read the sentence over again to understand it when it coulda just took 3 words and been straight to the point.
i was conversing (p.s. i loathe the word "conversate") with my hayati Abi about it this morning

--"yes and almost all of the time it would sound and flow so much better if she
just said 'it was awesome,' or 'it was amazing' instead of 'my head spills into
an infinity of ultimate horizons beckoning my ear to pitter patter amongst the
enlightening universe'... SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH it was dope. nuff
said!"

do u like your truth to be raw and real, or eloquently construed? i like it both ways, but sometimes its just doin too much [hereafter referred to as DTM]. are we the only one who feels like this? tell me blog readers!

and i quote

"everyday i wake up with a smile knowing that life has so many oppurtunities....so if something does go wrong during the day, there is another road for me to take so i can fall asleep and again wake up with that smile" -- my salvation

unicorn status.

feeling a little introspective today and i'd like to pose a question.

do u think utopia is attainable?

like.. do u think its a real place where happiness exudes from your pores and you are left wanting nothing? and i dont mean complacency, but true contentment... where your positive energy elevates you to a place where the air is thin and the lack of oxygen gets you high on life....

my objective in life is to grasp the concept of two things. infinity and utopia. ultimately, to feel utopic till infinity.

how do i get there and where do i start is a question that i ask myself on the daily. is what i'm doing right now conducive to my goal? if it aint, it needs to go. thats one of the reasons why im trying to gave up cigarettes, cuz how the hellz am i supposed to enjoy infinity if i'm busy smoking cancer sticks right? hmm. i think i'm pretty badass in my aspirations to have it all, but does having it all necessarily mean finally being happy??

i'm a woman. and as women, are we ever satisfied? in my experience, NO. i guess my question is, when do i know when to stop pushing myself for a brighter tomorrow and start enjoying the sunshine today? when will today be my utopia?

sometimes i feel the need to unlearn the lies of the culture that surrounds me before its possible to learn the truth about my happiness in life... gah! i'm babbling. but i wanna say one last thing --
that pot of gold is within our reach, i know you can feel it.

p.s. is life sans cigarettes making me looney or WHAT?!

hellza annoying

just a repost of what i posted today on What The Hellz?!

----
life sans cigarettes..
is making me fuckin GRUMPY. why i thought giving up cigs for lent was a good idea is beyond my comprehension right now. everything is everything and its hella irritating the fuck outta me!

today, i wanna talk about shoes. not just shoes, but too small shoes on too big feet. this is a phenomenon that remains beyond my comprehension. this weekend i saw a fly ass chick with a pretty face and the dopest outfit on. she had swag thru the roof and i'm always intrigued with confident girls... it makes me wanna be friends. lol. but as i got closer to get a better look i stop dead in my tracks cuz i see this...

p.s. this aint really the girl i seen cuz i wanst bold enough to take a pic of her feet. lol. this is just a visual... but i swear it looked just like this.

cliffhangers! it looks like her poor toes are hanging on for dear life....... so i immediately wonder if they're borrowed or if she's worn them too many times between 1998 and now that they no longer fit well. this shit immediately catapults a girl into the HELLZA UGLY category. i promise. not to mention the pedicure is all bad just makes u wanna give the girl a donation right??? does the poor girl not have friends to tell her that this shit aint cute?? argh.

and that, my dear friends, is the "HELLZA ANNOYING SHIT OF THE DAY." maybe if i had a cigarette i would be a little less annoyed, but i cant have another one of those till after easter. i SHOULD be giving em up completely but we'll see if i have the strength. maybe next year i should give up something easier like food or shopping.

TGIF

its WTFriday ladies, and here i sit at my desk at work wishing i was somewhere else. will someone hire me to just do WTForks full time?? please?? i beg of you..

here's me LOVING my job. ha. please share with me WTForks you're doin today. and to my other WTFly ladies... SAVE ME. PLEASE.

p.s. on days like this (after i catch up on my fave blogs) i usually pretend to work and instead read my copies of the Twilight series that i have on PDF. thats right gals. on PDF! if u want em, shoot me ur email.

p.p.s. Abi, i'm wearing eyeliner today so i dont look like DEATH. happy? (its also payday today so i think ima head to stussy to cop me some more swag from the stussy x hellz collab that was just released. if u dont know, now u know)

life 1. me 0.

i am not ur superwoman. not today. not right now.

it was the straw that broke the camel's back and i have reached my breaking point. i feel like screaming or laughing or crying or all of the above but i feel if i do.. i have admitted defeat.

i feel as if the weight of the world is on my back. with trying to be a good wife and mother, a responsible adult, a hard worker, a kick ass writer, a great friend and just maintaing my all around awesomeness... its fucking wearing me down. this grown shit is weighing down my heart. and today i just can't bear it all.

i can't do everything! i just CAN'T! not today. not right now.

today, i just wanna be an ordinary girl, with ordinary thoughts doing ordinary tasks with a mundane life. i want to use my free pass today. i want to pass go, collect my $200, and turn in my get out of jail free card. life is a fucking gamble and most of the time the house wins but once in a while u get to hit it big and i keep waiting for my win. i'm still waiting.

i want to just be me. no strings attached. and i guess i've learned that i can have everything. i just can't have everything all at once.

i hope its ok that superman wants to just be clark kent. just for today. just for right now.

and i quote

i am too positive to be doubtful..too optimistic to be fearful.. and too fuckin determined to ever be defeated.  

"Fresh off the Jess"

so that was my attempt at branding my girl Jess. haha... it didnt work out, but at least i tried right? I've mentioned jess a few times before and if u havent paid any attention to her i suggest u start because she should NOT BE SLEPT ON. i admire this girl so much its ridiculous. i should just call her "go girl" cuz she a go getter if i've ever seen one...

she contributes to a gazillion blogs cuz she is that important. if u havent done ur homework on this one, i suggest u do so now..

fatlace

itsDesignRelated

CtotheJL

What The Forks?!

to know her is to love her.. and if u wanna fall in love as much as i have.. check her out here. She makin things happen so just try and keep up ok?

Adventures of Yoshi

Hellz Bellz x Stussy line is siiiiiccckk..

If ur in the LA area come out to LADIES FIRST!  tomorrow!  

amazering.

the other day i was playing this game on aim with my friends... superlatives.. u have to name "the best hair, best eyes, nicest smile, best steez" but it has to be a real person and someone the both of u know. and throughout the day, i started to realize that i have AMMMAAAZZZINNGG people in my life. not just that, but i think that everyone is absolutely amazing. and it kinda blew my mind.

the "who i'd like to meet" section on my myspace says this:
"I believe you deserve everything your heart desires.Im excited about all youre about to experience and what you already have. you deserve an applaud for all your accomplishments because no one gives you enough credit for what youve been through. I admire you for picking yourself up despite all the blows youve taken and trying to get this whole thing right. That pot of gold is within our reach, I know you can feel it. Walk with me til the end of the rainbow. Id love to hear your story. "

and as i was re-reading it yesterday i came to a realization that, this explains so much about my character. i am so excited about life.. my life.. your life.. your experiences.. and i am completely and genuinely interested in what you have to share with me. credit is due where its deserved and i'd like to give it to ya....

sorry, am i talkin outta my ass right now? i woke up waaay to early this morning and am currently high on life.

p.s. life sans cigarettes: day 8. i'm still alive. and i can breathe a lot better. =)

i am SO LIVE.

my girl lawn that i write with on WTForks asked me to start writing for Hellz Bellz!! u do not understand how excited i am!

p.s., i'd like to spend a special shout to jess.. whom i've known since i was 12. as she is reason i'm blogging for WTF and meeting dope as people like lawn. i love u jess. *tear* lmao! also, to kris, as she is the reason i'm blogging. period.

check me out!

intoxicating

last week a friend asked me a question that threw my equilibrium off and made my head spin.

"when was the last time u pushed urself to the limit?"

my answer? SILENCE.

for the first time in a long time, i was left speechless. "it shouldnt be this hard" i told myself. i should KNOW this.. but it was hard and i didnt know it and i couldnt answer. i didnt have one interesting story to tell. kinda pathetic yeah? and it bothered me enough that today, a week later, i'm still reflecting on it.

im kind of a scary. im scared of roller coasters, terrified of heights, spiders and i am DEATHLY afraid of the water. so ive always steered clear of shit that'll put my life in jeopardy such as jumping out of a perflectly good working plane (who does that?) and deep sea diving or whatever.

but u know what? i want my heart to race. i want to feel exhilerated and carefree and i want to FLY. i think a few blogs ago i said, "sometimes u gotta jump if u wanna get lifted." so maybe i should take my own advice.

u down? i got healthcare. lets do it. BOOM!